With Caius students and Fellows finding it increasingly difficult to negotiate their way across Senate House Passage because of speeding cyclists, uncompromising runners and tourists distracted by the Gate of Honour, plans are in hand to make the area safer for all involved.

A suite of proposals include replacing the cobbles with tarmac to allow full use of the pavement; the installation of a traffic-calming island at the Trinity Street exit and the placing of speed bumps at strategic points. Traffic lights at either end of Senate House Passage will indicate to cyclists when it is safe for them to proceed.

Although a consultation process is yet to be completed, our image shows how the 21st-century Senate House Passage might look. "Everybody is in a hurry these days,” said spokesman Avril Prost, of traffic management consultants In-Utile. “It’s a fact of modern life. But we think our plan is both practical and environmentally sensitive. We are particularly pleased with the concept of the traffic calming island, which we believe greatly improves the visual amenities of the area as well as introducing some much-needed greenery, which in turn plays its part in the carbon cycle.”

The plans have been welcomed by the Master of Caius, Professor Sir Alan Fersht. “After many near misses in Senate House Passage I have taken to wearing a reflective high-visibility gown for all occasions when required to cross,” he reports. "These measures can’t come soon enough. Ideally the college would welcome a full anti-clockwise one-way system around the entire Old Courts site, possibly with a toll barrier on Trinity Street to deter recreational cyclists and members of less safety-conscious colleges. A small moat to create a clear division with Trinity Hall wouldn’t go amiss either.”