'I want to normalise the idea of talking about how you are'
- 20 October 2021
- 4 minutes
James Downs, Gonville & Caius College’s Trainee Counselling Psychologist, knows a lot about resilience, but is still to establish a universal definition of what it means.
James’ Masters research project asked secondary school pupils and teachers to define resilience.
"I found that it means lots of different things to different people,” James says.
At first thought, that appears obvious – and also a frustrating finding for James’ academic study. But in the context of his role at Caius, James knows that nuance and tailored support are of fundamental importance.
James, who taught yoga at Caius in Easter Term 2021 and continues to practice around the city, has joined the College community to support the mental health and wellbeing of our students.
He says: “We focus on telling people to reach out if they’re struggling, and I agree, but the idea of reaching out can be overwhelming. ’Reaching out’ is as much about reaching out to help people who are struggling, rather than waiting for them to ask for help.
“We’re so good at thinking at Cambridge, that’s why we are here. But there are problems that we can’t just think our way out of, otherwise we would’ve done it already. It’s not just about theory and knowledge, it can be about social support and relationships.
Normalising talking about our feelings and our emotional life is as important as about talking about our thoughts, ideas and academic proposals.
“Normalising talking about our feelings and our emotional life is as important as about talking about our thoughts, ideas and academic proposals.”
James wishes to demystify counselling and therapy.
“People sometimes have an idea of therapy that it’s confessional, that it’s going to be painful and require them to go through their deepest, darkest secrets to find out what’s wrong with them,” he adds.
“That is something I want to dispel. It’s possible to look forward to going to therapy and have a good relationship with your therapist.
“I want to normalise the idea of talking about how you are, not just the difficult bits. For me, therapy is about making it work for individuals, based on listening to them. People can ask to see me as a preventative measure, or if they’re anticipating a difficult period where they might need a bit more support. People can come when they’re reaching a crisis and don’t know how to cope. Therapy is for anyone who thinks it might help.”
James, 32, has his own experience of eating disorders, ADHD, which was only recently diagnosed, and a genetic hypermobility condition.
He has a history with Cambridge. He held an offer aged 17, but could not take it up due to illness, later coming firstly as an undergraduate before transferring to a Masters in Psychology and Education.
“My own personal experience has shown me the power of good therapy as a vehicle for support and change, and bringing out the best in people,” he says.
“I’m not in it to share my story, or to say ‘this is what worked for me’. My personal motivations are based in knowing that therapy can work from my own experience, but I’m also interested in people who are nothing like me.
“I won’t assume everyone in Cambridge goes through the same thing – there’s no one Cambridge experience and we all come from different backgrounds and life experiences. But there are some shared stresses in Cambridge life – eight-week terms, unless you’re on a specific course, for example.
“It’s also important to consider what people are enjoying – it’s not about just getting through term whatever the consequences, or achieving highly whatever the cost to your health and wellbeing.”
Resilience can be found in supportive relationships – whether that is with friends, or professionals – and opening up about your experiences may help.
“It can sometimes be a relief just to be open and connect with someone. For some people that isn’t enough and they need more specialist support, but being directed to the help you need has to start somewhere," he adds.
"Feeling like you are able to be open in the first place depends as much on the responses you think you’re likely to get from the person who is listening. Sometimes we don’t feel like there are obvious people around us who can listen without judgement, or without rushing to ‘fix’ or solve our problems.
“Sometimes we also want a confidential space and not to have to share with people we see day to day. I hope to provide that space for anyone who wants it in College this year.”
